| etadpu |
[23 Feb 2003|09:30am] |
I think I kinda forgot about this thing. Sasha and Joe turned out to be a great couple tayed togetehr for a long verry oong time, suprising us all,that is until bastard Tim H comes into the picture adn sahsa is dumb enough to think that she can just be friends with the boy she juswt recently barely could admit she might have posibly been over, but she knows and said she was still i love with. So Joe had a broek heart for a few days, now he's got a new girl, and he takes her to see mathew mconahay films.
Phoebeo is still increasingly attracitive to me, but only in a physical and even sexual manner. Which is good. She has become another dumb teen girl that if it were not for lack of intelegence I would like to form a phyiscal relationship wtih. Her mindset has turned me off so bad though that she's no longer a matter to me at all. Last night I explained to Anne that i want to stay with her. And i do, I wnat to make thing for real, I think I need something new, why should i dump her and find something new? Why don't i we just make something new togetehr? Besides it's easier then trying to fall inlove all over again. My brother and Phoebeo have been getting pretty close, but between the fatc that he tels everyonbe he's homosexual, adn that he's formed ahighly disturbing infactuation with Michael Jackson, I dont think He'l be with a girl anytime soon. I have been getting alot cloer to Rob, Phobeo big brother. We have allways been friends , but we're haning out more, going on crusades in 2nd period, just the basic friendship building factors:spending time laughing, talking about sex, getting in trouble, talking our way out of trouble, playing guitar, burning school books, writing music, and drawing together, having long long aderhol fueled conversations, playing with lord of the rings dolls that highly resemble Moses of the old testiment.
None the less we're become good friends. And i belive Rob rightnow, is getting truned into a fake mormon by his semireligously convicted, nymphomaniac girlfriend Heather.
Harper moved and now lives with her father in somewhere outside of atlanta.
Jonah and me and Ezrhave been playing guitar togther alot. But now Jonah is so busy with the "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat" show and all the other peformances he has lined up. Me and Ezrta usually just play. I didn't Even play anything at the last open mic, But the next one is this saturday. I have no Idea what I want to for it.
I was thinkngi about an acoustic Overnow by AlicInChains.
My grandfather died on the 5th of December.
Since, we've moved my grandmother down here with us. Changed my room from the back room to the den. It's ok. When cleaning my old room out I found all kinds of pills, cigarette, plastic bags with pinches of pot, all kinds of things. I hate thinking about thos times, back when i know i hid all of that, hell I'd had that room for 2 or 3 years. Some shit had been there for that long. I know i was one horrible person then. Im glad Im out of that.
School is ok.
Just ok.,
I'm happy with my playing kinda.
I'm going to be working with Harry guitarwise that is.
I'm really looknig forward to it.
Fred is still eighteen, except now he's tlaking to a 14 year old named Samatha. .(JoshuaSmellsLawsuit).
Bandits leg is hurt, my sister is engaged now, Markus can't move up here yet .
Theres a RHCP Concert on the 8th of june in Atlanta. I'm looknig forard to it.
I havne't talked to markus in a while
I talked to Jey about the civil war again for a long tiem the oter day.
I forgot, i ahve top go practice Bloodsugar albulm.
.Fareweell stop reading
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| draem 12-24- 02 |
[24 Dec 2002|08:18am] |
hanging out withanga patrick , getting ready to go somewhere
she's waking him up, im puting boxerson, i show him the RHCP pics on he wall and ask himif he knnows which one is me.
We get ready and leeve. we go acros the street to cathys,we han out int her front yard with Danniele and some other 20 ish guy.
Lookning acorrs street into past
Girls walking around yard, bret taking piss in yard, hand stand.
She is over here now, playing with smallwooden thing like beehive.
Guy lights it and smoke out of it.
I do the same.
I give it back to him h e takes a big hit, patrick solemlly hits it, paasses it to my little brother.
I look at at , then realize dads watching from acors the street on our porch. or at fence. I freak out. danniele tryis to take verything under control. my dad walks over to daniieles and sits on porch facing us. I keep teling robert to put it
Robert leeeeves and danyels gos after him , he ttells dad he's sick or soemthing.
Me and Daniele go to side of the house wehre dad is,
We're trying to play it smoothe, she is and startds singing kelley osbourne.
we leeve after i pik up soem poles.
We go around back
I relize molly is lighter, and a male and smaller, then she is dark again.
I cover up a massive load of shit with abuncha dirt ipiked up
Taking shoes off, my mom tells me to take a pill cuz she has alot of cow in the kitchen.
I start singing song about taking pils
I go inside and moms making dinner
Talkign on the fone about how she always had a plate when she was a kid, the same plate. Josh is the only oe who doesn thave one cuz he through it away. but she didn't have a desert palte, she alwyas wanted one, then she got on for her 16ths birthday.
In the midst of all this, somweher , maybe even before or after, i wan most definitly in a pete and pete episode.
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| ill, 11-4-02 |
[04 Nov 2002|12:07am] |
Restroom at either school or studio, Mary kate doing some shit to a wall, i move from behind, other guy seems rival, contesticl other girl Talors ish- michel ish, -mal ish, dancing some skirt, atpetps are removed, more, then less, people that is, .
big dungeo ny sisters room, boxes, letters under the boxes, crazy covers,
at gymm like at berean,
contests so forth i gyuess
crow curse, ects....
al for now
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| 10 -27- 02 |
[27 Oct 2002|09:51pm] |
DMsort#3-5,6|=
Mr. Pickets room walking around dropngi things dick hangin out, ask big breaasted bret to wack me off. She thinks twice about seeing some sort of video with her friend rachel blowing me. Bret giggles and removes her clothes, begins playing ih my dick and almost imidietly i spasm seamen all over her stomache. Some guy wants to fight me, we "duke" it out, Somehow markus is hurt
He runsa way, me adn my oponet are both injured,
starting from the gym hallway we woble, wounded slowly through the doorway to misreids hallway
i folow a faint trail of blood droplets down the hallway adn a turn tot he left toward the cafeteria.
i hoble down the stairs and follw the blood into the sick bay type area near office. I run over to were markus is, he's all bandaged up from like foot to toe. i talk to him andim scaired and crying ad he's hurt,
Soem tiem later inbetween after
He's walkg around soem now, and i tried to tell him not to draw porn in fron t of the nurse.
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[22 Oct 2002|08:57pm] |
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I could float here forever
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| 10_22 |
[22 Oct 2002|08:55pm] |
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At annes house, red fllashing+ .sliding doors parents arive, leve, m 9- -clouds, ; aorund the fire, burning flamost sumthing ect... ":hippie" gathering, moem\ ( sydny, girls ect.; trading bags, hersem, fence, sit down wake up::WAKE UP. ,g.
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[22 Oct 2002|08:39pm] |
Kids around neigbourhood are gathering for this acting try outs like thing on the side of the house
First we have to jump into half water, from the top of the porch, I though it was on top off fredy but was supsended I n the end and odn top of this guy carying his sonon his shouulder
Then we're in back yard, in drive way, sasha is in the crowd, we all get insturctions and go do soemthign else
People are in back back yard in rows playing a game, I go there and cris mangum hands me this yellow geometric tube thing and its par t of the game but I dotn know,
I give it back tot hem, and I run back down the hill and swing on the swing
We've filled in my back yard with dirt, to even it out, al the way from the back to the house
I go back and realize this tree behuind pull is faling down, I tryu to fix it and cry,
I pick up a flower that reminds em f it, and I go to the hill by the shed.
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| dream log |
[20 Oct 2002|07:48pm] |
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up dating all the entries ithat never loged before, computer was getign hadrd to work with
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| dream 10- 20 -02 |
[20 Oct 2002|07:47pm] |
Maybe walking down dayton blvd, two girls maybe red card pick me up
bring me to restranut teen hang out place
kayla is there
I swing from the standing thingage from the ceiling have my black shirt wrapped up on top of it
they take me home
----somethign with back yard----we're walking aroud it maybe-
At home in my den im wraping some sort of lit paper smoking device
my mother corretcs me and shows me a i should use this long tube.
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---swimming party---
Ezra, Lauren Hixson, Anne, Heather Tingy, Robert-c., other girls, Corey henly,
-inground pool-at night-
Im swiming on my back, getting up and moving arund, flaunting my chest and abbs, i cna see myself, i have whote shirt on, hope to inpress Lauren and anne.
watch my brother play something really good on the guitar
corey aproa ches rambling
I go bakand wade, they ask me why im not doing soemthing
I say "i don't even knmow how to swinm"
Heather tingy trys to teach me how to swim, doesnt wnat me to hold my nose.
tlak
me and ezra in my room, talkig baout pedals or soemthing.
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| dead soUls |
[20 Oct 2002|07:46pm] |
Someone take these dreams away
That point me to another day
A duel of personalities
That stretch all true reality
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| gn inigeb eh tsidne |
[20 Oct 2002|07:45pm] |
The sewers belched me up
the heavens spit me out
from esau's tragic I am born again
and now I'm with you now
inside your world of woe
to move in this place of deadly return
'til the end times begin
Is it bright where you are?
Have the people changed?
Does it make you happy you're so sane?
And in your darkest hour
my whole secrets fade
you can watch the world devour it instead
Climb my ribcage too
the replays run for you
unhook my lights to peek behind the glare
for I am crystal grown
and I am shadown known
and I am crumbled king of angels of death
to destroy the end
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| 99 |
[20 Oct 2002|07:44pm] |
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That night Altair had the strangest dream. He dreamed that Amala was made of glass and standing before him, a smile filling her face. He could see right through her and her smile seemed to widen as suddenly she shattered to a thousand pieces. Pieces floated towards him, until shards of Amala were in his hair, cutting into his hands and scraping past his face, forcing tears from his deep blue eyes. And when that was over, there was a moment of pure still until the glass began to move. It moved towards all the other pieces until they were joined again, and the glass Amala stood in his arms. And in her glass body, a warm red heart was pounding
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[20 Oct 2002|07:42pm] |
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-----| | || || | || | | | || | | | | | | | (END SOLO) @ @@ @@ @ @@ @ @ @ @@ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ H P H P H P H P ~~~~~~~~|-9--
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| slow bend |
[20 Oct 2002|07:42pm] |
Behind the bleachers and in stalls
On kitchen tables behind bed rooms walls---------
---------- -- ---- -
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| Ab
Today is the greatest day I've ever known
Eb5 |
[20 Oct 2002|07:41pm] |
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.Today is the greatest day I've ever known
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[20 Oct 2002|07:39pm] |
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A big "fuck you" to those of you who have the audacity to claim that I'm so naive and stupid that I would allow myself to be taken advantage of and manipulated.
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| notes |
[20 Oct 2002|07:38pm] |
In an attempt to satisfy the second part of my quest, I went to the Rough Trade shop and, of course, found no Raincoats record in the bin. I then asked the woman behind the counter about it and she said "well, it happens that I'm neighbors with Anna (member of The Raincoats) and she works at an antique shop just a few miles from here." So she drew me a map and I started on my way to Anna's.
Sometime later, I arrived at this elfin shop filled with something else I've compulsively searched for over the past few years - really old fucked up marionette-like wood carved dolls (quite a few hundred years old). Lots of them... I've fantasized about finding a ship filled with so many. They wouldn't accept my credit card but the dolls were really way too expensive anyway. Anna was there, however, so I politely introduced myself with a fever-red face and explained the reason for my intrusion. I can remember her mean boss almost setting me on fire with his glares. She said "well, I may have a few lying around so, if I find one, I'll send it to you (very polite, very English)." I left feeling like a dork, like I had violated her space, like she probably thought my band was tacky.
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| Thoreau |
[20 Oct 2002|07:37pm] |
This American government--what is it but a tradition, though a recent
one, endeavoring to transmit itself unimpaired to posterity, but each
instant losing some of its integrity? It has not the vitality and force
of a single living man; for a single man can bend it to his will. It is
a sort of wooden gun to the people themselves. But it is not the less
necessary for this; for the people must have some complicated machinery
or other, and hear its din, to satisfy that idea of government which
they have. Governments show thus how successfully men can be imposed
upon, even impose on themselves, for their own advantage. It is excellent,
we must all allow. Yet this government never of itself furthered any
enterprise, but by the alacrity with which it got out of its way. It does
not keep the country free. It does not settle the West. It does not
educate. The character inherent in the American people has done all that
has been accomplished; and it would have done somewhat more, if the
government had not sometimes got in its way. For government is an
expedient, by which men would fain succeed in letting one another alone; and, as
has been said, when it is most expedient, the governed are most let
alone by it. Trade and commerce, if they were not made of india-rubber,
would never manage to bounce over obstacles which legislators are
continually putting in their way; and if one were to judge these men wholly by
the effects of their actions and not partly by their intentions, they
would deserve to be classed and punished with those mischievious persons
who put obstructions on the railroads.
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| who fucking cares, quit bitching |
[20 Oct 2002|07:36pm] |
My vain feelings and dirty hair
I'l leeve like i want to
Fast and angry
But i'l break down as soon as im gone
If you'd hold me
maybe i'd forgive you
But your not out for kids (kicks)
So don't smile
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[20 Oct 2002|07:34pm] |
i wanna live
with my friends
here until
I find why people leeve like this
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